Praise be to Allah, and prayers and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, and on his good family, and his companions, We are often feel a sense of surprise and wonder mingled with anger.
Praise be to Allah, and prayers and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, and on his good family, and his companions, We are often feel a sense of surprise and wonder mingled with anger, when the learner disagrees with the advice given to him, which is in his interest, and we often feel that we lose the ability to guide learner to what is useful for him, and that guidance is not valuable to him.
There are many reasons for this. The most important amongst them are the followings: We only give advice in a form of orders and warnings, with no feelings of love and compassion for the learner, devoid of the value of knowledge concealed within them, which represented in the interest related to them, and the harm resulting from their negligence, in which the learner does not realize the meanings of love to him, compassion for him, the extent of their usefulness, and the harm resulting from their negligence. This results in the feeling of the learner that these are only burdens and restrictions imposed on him, restricts his wishes and freedom, and eliminate his personality. Hence, he generated a reverse negative reaction due that, and maybe the matter get worse until he feel alienated from them and from who gives these instructions.
This is because Allah has created man for the love of independence in his personality, and aversion from everything that eliminates this personality, so that he will be qualified to hold his responsibilities and to perform the legitimate commissioning of his choice. If the learner feels that these directives restrict him and make him a subordinate without an independent personality, he will gain no benefit from them.
For example, in practice, a person may become distressed when he prevented from going out, but he may sit at his home for long days of his choice without going out. The difference here is that his sitting emerges from his personal desire, as explained by Imam Ibn al-Jawzi in his book Sayid al-Khater (Hunting the Idea) that Allah has created the human psyche restricted within the body, and the commissioning and guidance is another restriction to it, so it feels destressed and averse from.
If the prohibition from going out is conducted in such a way that shows the sense of love and compassion, and made learner informed with the gained benefit which beyond his awareness, as to tell him the that there is a latent danger outside and what all care about is his safety and to protect him from what laying outside such as a predator or a lurking enemy – and to keep him safe and alive, then the situation will vary, he would love stay at home, feel grateful to the counselor, and reciprocates feelings of love and appreciation.
Thus, the general rule that educational guidance must consider the cognitive and emotional construction, to satisfy the demands of human intellectual and emotional nature, through showing good in what he ordered to do, and evil in what is forbidden, and after all, the sole motive of advice is the love with the learner, and show mercy to him.
This was highly reflected in the personality of the First Educator, Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, Allah the Almighty said {There has certainly come to you a Messenger from among yourselves. Grievous to him is what you suffer; [he is] concerned over you and to the believers is kind and merciful}( Al Tawba: 128), Allah the Almighty said {Allah did confer a great favor on the believers when He sent among them a messenger from among themselves, rehearsing unto them the Signs of Allah, sanctifying them, and instructing them in Scripture and Wisdom, while, before that, they had been in manifest error}(Aal-i-Imraan: 164).
The educator guidance shall be directed to the learner in a constructive cognitive guidance, add to him important information, and at the same time make him feels that the motivation behind the guidance is only the care and attention to what benefits him, and embrace him with feelings of love and appreciation, in the best possible ways to deliver the idea required for the learner.
The guidance through the of cognitive and emotional construction, which is integrated with the intellectual and emotional demands of the human psyche, refines the learner personality, and promotes the confidence between him and the educator, and of himself. Also, it strengthens the sense of responsibility that Allah has created man with; qualifying him to hold Divine commissions; therefore, raise a human who able to differentiate between right and wrong in a balanced way, and rely on himself to manage his own matters, and take the right attitudes in his life.
To illustrate, I display three practical examples that illustrate this issue, for example but not limited to:
The first example: The guidance given by Luqman al-Hakim to his son as he preaches, Allah the Almighty said {Behold, Luqman said to his son by way of instruction: "O my son! Join not in worship (others) with Allah: for false worship is indeed the highest wrong-doing." * And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal * "But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did." *"O my son!" (Said Luqman), "If there be (but) the weight of a mustard-seed and it were (hidden) in a rock, or (anywhere) in the heavens or on earth, Allah will bring it forth: for Allah understands the finest mysteries, (and) is well-acquainted (with them). * "O my son! Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong: and bear with patient constancy whatever betide thee; for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs. * "And swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for Allah loves not any arrogant boaster. * "And be moderate in thy pace, and lower thy voice; for the harshest of sounds without doubt is the braying of the ass."}( Luqman:13-19).
These commandments combine the meanings of compassion and mercy that the father immersed his son in, with a set of knowledge that develops him to enjoy an integrated personality. The feelings of love and fatherly love are expressed by saying, "My son," three times; to establish the preamble to the subsequent set of advice, which highly considered the most important knowledge areas a child needs in building his personality, his relationship between himself, Allah and his creation, and keep his nature pure.
He started with the assertion on Monotheism (Al-Tawheed), the prohibition of polytheism, which is the greatest injustice, and the ugliest morality, and then followed it by the commandment of good companionship with parents in goodness, and that their righteousness and obedience are the rights of the unification of Allah, and the fulfillment of their duty, and reminded him of some of the hardship they suffered only for the sake of caring of their son, and to follow the path of returning peoples to Allah; in preparation for the Day of Judgement between the Hands of Allah the almighty.
Then he taught him that Allah his knowledge is infinite and extend over everything; and that calls for fear of Allah, and praise him secretly and publicly.
After that, he recommended him with a number of commandments, namely: performing prayer, enjoining good and forbidding evil, and being patient with what is happening to him in the sake of Allah, informed him that these qualities attributed to people with have great and unique deeds.
And after his commandment of the Allah's rights and the rights of his parents, he recommended with the rights of morals, forbid him to arrogance, and showing off; and know that Allah hates the prideful arrogant, and then ordered him to be humble in his walk, and reduced his voice; because it relates to ass ugly sounds.
The second example: The attitude of the Prophet peace be upon him with Al Hassan bin Ali - may Allah be pleased with them -, on the authority of Abu Hurayrah - may Allah be pleased with him -, he said: Al Hassan bin Ali took a date of the charity dates, and started to eat it; then the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him: Sah, sah throw it away. Ain't you know that we do not eat charity. In another narration "Charity do not belong to us" (Agreed upon), the narration on the authority of Muslim.
In this hadeeth: Al Hassan forbidden from eating the charity, although he is still young, with use of a word that is beloved to the children, namely: "sah, sah", and not only that, but he told him the reason, despite his young age; to complete the information to him, namely, that Bani Hashem has no right to obtain charity, and that it is forbidden to them.
The third example: the commandments of the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him to Ibn Abbas - may Allah be pleased with both of them -, On the authority of Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: One day I was behind the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) [riding on the same mount] and he said, “O boy, I shall teach you some words [of advice]: Be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, then ask Allah [alone]; and if you seek help, then seek help from Allah [alone]. And know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allah had already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allah had already prescribed against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” Narrated by Ahmed and Al-Tirmidhi, who said it was a good and sound hadeeth.
The commandment started by saying: "O boy," a nice call, to show mercy and love to Ibn Abbas, and then facilitated him, and longing for him by saying: "I teach you words."
After preparing himself and longing to find out what would be said, the Prophet's commandment came true to Monotheism, its reward and needs.
He understood that righteousness is to be protected by Allah, His obedience, His unity, and that His reward is that He protects and saves His servant, be always close to him. This achieved by seeking refuge in Allah only. Hence, the need shall surrender only to Allah, Everything is not permissible except with the permission of Allah, seeking help shall be only from Allah, and everything will not be permissible only by Allah judgment, His destiny. Moreover, all people have no power to make good or commit harm, and everything is not permissible except with the permission of Allah.
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